Monday, 7 August 2017
GAME OF THRONES SPOILERS TO BE MADE PUNISHABLE BY FLOGGING, ACCORDING TO NEW GOVERNMENT LEGISLATION
New government legislation has suggested those who post Game of Thrones spoilers online, ahead of the regular broadcast time, should be beaten and publicly flogged.
‘Not all of us have Sky Atlantic you know’ commented one angry fan of the HBO series. ‘And these nerds who stay up to watch it at 2am the night before are obviously complete losers.’
‘Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m half way through renovating my loft to look like the throne room of King’s Landing. I’ve made an Iron Throne out of kitchen cutlery.’
‘Admittedly, it’s not very comfy.’
A former university lecturer in North Yorkshire, Harrison Dingle, was recently divorced by his wife of 35 years - simply for a Facebook post last year, revealing Jon Snow was not in fact dead. Mrs Dingle later cut off his penis, force-feeding it to him inside a Melton Mowbray pork pie.
Tory politicians are reportedly overjoyed by the idea that UK society should mirror the imaginary world of Westeros, adding the show seems ‘a very fair and workable model for post-Brexit Britain’.
A potential ‘Walk of Shame’ was also briefly discussed, for anyone on a salary of over £50k who openly supports Jeremy Corbyn.
The idea was dropped, as there aren’t any.